Past your Pleasures and beyond your Pains

We humans have an insatiable desire to acquire as much pleasure as we can. To acquire all that our body and mind crave for.......and to have it immediately. That is the only goal we live by. I don't mean to be some deranged weirdo who suggests to act otherwise but I would like to suggest an alternative way in achieving that goal. Yes, we do need pleasure and that should be our ultimate goal but through my limited life experience, I've come to realize that pleasure doesn't breed pleasure.Instead pain breeds pleasure. The more pleasure we sacrifice, the more pleasure we attain. We need to challenge our body, mind, heart and soul by voluntarily passing it through some tough times in order to achieve peace and pleasure. I choose the word voluntarily because its better to choose pain first before it chooses you. Also this is no one-time exercise as it needs to be done consistently in order for it to work. And just like any good investment, it starts off with losses and then achieves profits after some time. Patience is the key to this process and it needs to be taken slowly. Never go for perfection instead go for improvement. I know it's pretty hard to translate all of this into action but i didn't make the rules. I'm just telling them the way they are.  

No pain, No gain

Me vs Me

War! That's what it has come down to. Tonight I'm going to War! War to reclaim my soul. War to rectify my mistakes. War to change myself.......War to defeat myself! All my life I've tried fighting alot of people and alot of things but failed miserably. In hindsight I've come to realize that I've been fighting the wrong enemy. Or perhaps it wasn't the right time to fight them. Besides there is a bigger and more brutal enemy running in my blood, veins, heart and mind that needs to be considered first. It is because of this masked enemy that has cost me all my failures. But I can't fight this powerful enemy alone. I can't fight this life long war alone. Especially when it has weakened and blinded my heart and soul. I need help from even more powerful force. A force that can obliterate anything, anytime with no hesitation. The architect. The destroyer. The king of kings and the ruler of hearts.......my beloved creator ALLAH.

May Allah unfreeze our hearts, Ameen

Allah protect me from myself so that I can take care of my enemies

Precipice of Defeat

After all these years of failures......... failure to distinguish between illusion and reality, failure to stop self-destruction each day, failure to acquire purpose, failure to do good, failure to lift the spirit, failure to recognize true enemy and true power, failure to appreciate my master, failure to learn from failure, after all my failures........yet here i still stand!

Journey to the Center of Myself

Ever since I stepped foot on this god forsaken wasteland, I've been very cautious of this planet's dwellers around me. As a child my first doubts began with my siblings as I thought that they are jealous of me. Then I turned my guns onto my parents for not fulfilling my wishes. Life moved on and I made some friends at school. As it turned out most of them where hypocrites in disguise waiting for the right moment to claim their advantage. Found the love of my life but she too betrayed and left for inconsequential reasons. When I entered my professional career, I tried my best to help my colleagues and in return hoped for their support but when I got into dire straits......unsurprisingly they too proved to be no different.

I sat down and cursed this planet's dwellers with savage rage inside me. I always knew humans couldn't be trusted but I wasn't expecting such level of duplicity. All of a sudden this rage.....this feeling of powerlessness..... started to consume me. Even I couldn't escape this hell on earth. Suddenly I stood up and started racing back and forth in my room due to restlessness. I wanted to strike back and take revenge on people who did this to me. A diabolical plan struck me. A scheme to root out my enemies. A plan to avenge my destruction. Evil was about to completely consume me and just as i was about to execute my evil intentions, out of no where I was standing face to face with one last enemy I missed all along........myself. Last thing I remembered was racing back and forth in my room and now i was standing in front of the mirror and saw a man......tangled in strings. And guess who controlled those strings?......i did!!! It was me.....it has always been me......I was my own worst enemy. I created an illusion and called it reality. In fact I am my only enemy. I attacked myself with irrational emotions, illogical reasoning and uncontrollable impulses. It has always been my fault and I blamed everyone else for my own mistakes. I tried controlling other people of which I have no control over and never controlled myself of which i have total control.

I always imagined great power and truth inside my core but it turns out I've been feeding the devil inside me. Hypocrisy, lies and deception were not out there, they've been mostly inside me. But instead of lowering the force of my rage, i put the pedal to the metal and raised my guns again but only this time.....i turned them on myself! I need to conquer the evil inside me. Some may call it a war between good and evil. Others may think it's a war between conscience and sub-conscience. For me it's all about redemption!  

Got no more hate, pride and shame which makes me dangerous

Note:
This post is entirely fictional.

The Final Assault

Its been more than half a decade since our rivalry initiated. Sadly on all occasions my nemesis has gotten the best of me. I fought with resilience and put in significant amount of effort but to no avail. Perhaps there are some things that cannot be defeated. Although I'm not quite fond of this statement but I guess i'll have to believe it just this once......sigh.....perhaps its time to move on with my other endeavors in life.......but not before I gather all my strengths for one final assault!